magia melursis ursinis
by fluffy kitty of darkness
Summary: When a secret society proudly comes forth from the underground to help defeat Voldemort, Harry Potter is bemused and would happily accept their help. Except that the war ended ten years ago...


The Quidditch League Forum Competition Season 7 / Round 5

Position: Captain

Team: Kenmare Kestrels

Prompt - Captain: (Dimension beneath the Earth) Write about a secret world or society that exists and operates beneath the surface of the Earth.

Many thanks to my beta, Cin - my lovely Kestrel teammate.

This takes place underground, an army of sloths, proudly making their way to the top to help defeat Voldemort and his dark army only to reach the surface ten years after the battle and Harry has to tell them that its all over - short summary

* * *

Harry Potter would say that he had been in some pretty bizarre situations in his life. After the war and becoming an Auror, the turbulence had settled down mostly. Once and a while, the department would get a few strange cases that circled around bigger problems than just catching older Death Eaters, or accidental magic cases. Rarely did Harry find himself leading those cases.

And very, very, very rarely, did those cases concern diplomacy and politics regarding a different species.

Especially when entrance to said different species was in the basement of a Muggle apartment building. Warily, Harry had peered down the vast hole that was where 'they' had apparently broken through the floor. It was extremely wide and very deep. Harry found himself feeling a little bit dizzy as he stared down it.

He gave one of the workers a wry glance. "Are you sure this is where she went?"

The young man nodded eagerly. Obviously new, waiting for praise for answering. Meanwhile Harry was just concerned that he didn't crack his neck from all that nodding. "Yes, sir!"

Harry glanced down again. He didn't want to seem obtuse, but...

"... do we just jump?"

"That's what Miss Granger did, sir."

"..."

"I think she did a cushioning spell before she went down." The worker added helpfully.

"That's a bit better, I suppose." He muttered. Harry didn't allow himself to stop and think like the many years as an Auror had taught him to do. He took a lesson from his young teenaged self and jumped in the gaping hole before he could question if diving into a hole in the ground was really the way he wanted to die.

The air whistled passed him for several moments, complete darkness surrounded him. Whether it took five minutes or five seconds to reach the bottom, Harry had no clue. All he knew was that using a cushioning charm still didn't mean you were going to land in an upright position.

He found himself head over heels in a heap on the ground, head spinning and lungs gasping. _Oh, that wasn't embarrasing, was it?_

Hermione Granger was staring at him from across the way with a face that seemed to say - _that was not a proper landing. Do you even_ **know**_ the charm?_

Harry was too busy staring at their newly discovered secret society to take note of her scolding. There were tunnels extended on either side of him in an endless trail of darkness forboding. The left side was lit by candles that were held by the people themselves. People, being... people sized. They had... _fur._

Hemione had been here for a few hours before him, having been sent in to translate and communicate, and Harry did what he always did when he had no idea what was going.

He grabbed Hermione and tugged her off to the side and asked her what was going on. In doing so, he learned five things in quick succession, all of which has taken her over three hours to learn.

1) They were a species called _magia melursis ursinis._

2) They were magical sloths.

3) They lived in a secret society underneath the earth, ever since their ancestors had left due to land disagreements with Salazar Slytherin.

4) They had been discovered briefly by Newt Scamander in the fifties, but had sworn him to secrecy.

5) They came to fight the war.

Harry blanked out for a few moments to process. "Wait. What war?"

Hemione pinched the bridge of her nose. "The last one."

"The Battle at Hogwarts?"

"Yes."

"That was ten years ago!"

"It took them a while."

"It took them _ten years._"

Hermione checked her notebook. "They made a wrong turn about five years ago and now they've made a tunnel underneath Durmstrang. It should lead to the left side of the building collapsing in a few years due to weakened structure. They sent one of their diplomats to apologize, but I don't think he's gotten there yet."

Harry gaped.

"One of the sloths studies architecture." She explained.

He shook his head. "Okay, okay. Why am I here?"

"Because they don't believe me when I said the war is over. I told them about you, but they insist that they be allowed to fight." Her brown eyes flashed with indignation. "Apparently some racism from the early 1700s is still being taught to young sloths and they think that we-"

Harry raised a hand. "One issue at a time." This was complicated enough with Hermione finding errors in the educational system of sloths.

She fell silent and in that moment, Ron appeared in the ground in a lump. The sloths murmured in the background as he groaned.

Harry gave his friend one look before turning away. "Nice of you..."

"_Don't."_

"... to drop in."

The Weasley groan was heard loud and clear for all. When he had finally hopped to his feet, Ron spoke up breathlessly. "Just got the news. What the bloody... " his voice faded away as he stared.

It would seem that the lead sloth was growing impatient as he lumbered forward.

"We... have... come... to... fight."

"No, no fighting needed. Thanks, mate." Ron replied, stepping away warily.

The leader slowly lifted the large sword over his head and over a dozen human sized sloths raised their hands to meet the battle cry with swords and weapons of their own.

It would've been intimidating if it hadn't taken them ten minutes to finish.

Ron turned to his two friends. "Someone fill me in, please."

In the time that Hermione explained everything to Ron about who, what, why; Harry was trying to assure the sloths that the dark lord known as Voldemort was dead and had perished. Harry didn't think they had believed him until he had ran his hand through his hair while talking, and the lights of the flame flickered over his scar.

The leader's eyes slowly widened, but he said nothing.

Shortly after, Harry was joined by his two friends and that's when he noticed that they were alone. "Where is everyone?"

Hermione frowned. "They left about an hour ago."

"Why didn't you leave with them? Send replacements?"

The leader started to speak again. "We... climbed... from... under."

Hermione ignored his question and stepped forward, looking absolutely fascinated. "How did you manage to find your way to the surface?"

Oh, that was why. Ron snorted from behind them. Their friend was too curious for her own good.

"We...made..."

The sloth paused for a brief two minute break to give Ron Weasley a curious glance.

"... tunnels."

Ron spoke up. "Can you return from where you came?"

"Dark... lord... destroy."

"Look." Ron looked like he was at the end of his patience. "The dark lord is gone. Dead. Down. Dusted. He. Is. No. More."

The lead sloth glared balefully at him.

"He has ceased to _be."_

"Thank you, Ron. I think they get it."

The leader started to speak but stopped himself and looked perplexed. Much to Harry's horror, it looked like he was thinking very carefully on his next words.

This was going to take a while.

After looking both ways at his friends - Ron looked close to tearing his own hair out while Hermione was waiting eagerly, yet patiently for the next words to tumble out of the leader's slow mouth.

Harry just wanted to go home.

"We... are... hungry."

This made Hermione step forward again with a sparkle in her eyes. "What do you eat?"

A hissed whisper. "Hermione!"

"We can't leave them to starve, Ronald!"

"If we don't, they'll never leave!"

"We... eat... dirt... rodents..."

Rodents, huh. That would've been useful to know in his third year, Harry mused, rather bitterly.

"... plants... leaves... of certain...kinds."

The leader proceeded to eagerly list out a very drawn-out list of the sloths dietary habits with a few sloths from the crowd behind helpfully offering their own personal thoughts and tastes.

It was around the time that they were forced into listening about the after effects of certain nuts to the sloth's digestive system that Harry spotted a very haggard looking Neville tumbling down the dirt onto the ground with a less than impressive yelp.

Coming to a quick conclusion, Harry grabbed Neville's arm and yanked him up. "Just the man I wanted to see!"

Neville started to explain why the department had sent him down, because he was merely a transfer advisor for the forensics department from Hogwarts, but Harry Potter was having none of that and kindly told him to shut up.

"You spent some time studying history and diplomacy after the war, didn't you, Neville?"

"Uh... I did. I wasn't any good at it. " His cheeks flushed with embarrasment.

Harry muttered "Don't worry, you don't have to be good at it." He raised his voice cheerfully so everyone underground could hear him. "Due to some serious matters in our world..."

The eyes of the leader sloth brightened.

Harry quickly edited his statement. "Simple, non-war things. Garden... emergencies. That sort of thing. Gnomes need pulling and all that."

Hermione was staring at him like he was an idiot.

"So my good man here," he slapped Neville on the back roughly, "shall be continuing our discussion for now."

"What. But I -"

Harry leaned forward with a conspiratory whisper. "He personally beheaded the dark lord's right hand snake."

In a stunning slow display of turning heads, all of the curious sloth army turned their focus onto the one and only Neville Longbottom

Neville let out a squeak.

Harry grabbed Ron and Hermione in a death grip. "Time to go."

There was very little struggle from either of them as he lead them to the opening of the tunnel. It was around there that Harry realized something very important.

"Hermione... how did the others get out?"

"They had brooms."

"We don't have brooms."

"No, we don't, I suppose."

The words that Ron unleashed were both inpressive and would've sent Molly Weasley up in flames had she been there to hear them.

Hermione sent him a reproachful look. "That's hardly the language to use in front of sloths, Ronald."

"Harry!" Neville sounded like he was having a bit of trouble. "I think they want to eat me!"

Harry really, really, _really _wanted to go home.


End file.
